My second child is almost 3 now , and i’m still struggling to find ” me time”. Being a full time mom, wife and caring for the house , is very hard work to find time for yourself, to look at you and to ask what is happening inside , to find You afterall.
It’s always someone or something else more important than yourself, and again postpone your needs for later, thinking that you’ll get some time then and care for your body and soul.
But this is a forever mouse wheel in which we are trapped and sometimes feels like normal, that is exactly where we need to be.
Ok, i did this for a while , i raised my first child being concerned to give him the best things that i could ( being present, being empathic, understand his needs and making sure he is never suffering, giving him the helthier meals, walks in nature , quality time with us and all the good things) that i completely forgot about myself. And it felt normal for me in that period, like you have to be dedicatedto your child, to your family , your spouse, your house, this is your mission and nothing else is matter. I was ok until i had the second child . I started realize that i lost myself through this daily tasks that did not included me time.
It Takes A Village To Raise A Child
Only that Village disapperared, nobody cares about you, about your family. Nobody is helping you raise your children. You have to do all that sometimes did an entire village, alone, and do it good, otherwise you’ll be “burned on fire”. We are expectend to do more and more to satisfy the needs of society. More and more tasks are plased on our shoulders and we have to keep up with all this norms. To be successful woman, look good, take care of yourself, go to gym, be in your best shape, be a good wife , raise kids with epathy, give them a good education , make sure thei have a full program, with all kind of activities and entertainment, have a clean and cozy home, a healthy food prepared , be socially active; and all this stuff in the same 24-hour day.
We fell this injustice on us , we fell allready this pain deep in our souls. Where is me in all this equation, where to find this time for myself?
That’s why i was trying to put toghether some techniques , whici i hope will help you as well to find You, to find your time, and start to caring more about you.
Take a Break from Responsibilities
With the never-ending list of responsibilities and constant demands of motherhood, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that you deserve and need time to recharge and reclaim your personal space.
Taking a break from responsibilities allows you to disconnect from the constant pressure and demands of motherhood, giving you the opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate. By setting aside designated “me” time, whether it’s a few minutes or an hour, you are creating a space to focus solely on yourself and your needs.
These breaks are not self-indulgent but necessary for reducing stress and promoting mental well-being. Being able to step away from your responsibilities allows you to clear your mind, regain perspective, and return to your tasks with a fresh energy and renewed focus. It is not only beneficial for your mental health, but also for your physical well-being, as stress can have a detrimental impact on your body.
There are various ways to take breaks and reclaim your personal space. Instead of loading again washing masine, or cleaning the kitchen third time today , try engaging in activities or hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation as a great way to unwind and recharge. Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or pursuing a creative outlet, find something that truly brings you happiness and dedicate time to it. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and self-care techniques, such as meditation or yoga, can help you find moments of calm and rejuvenation in the midst of your busy schedule. Remember that work is not going anywhere, you’ll do it later, but with more joy and peace.
Engage in Hobbies and Activities
After a long time of neglecting you, maybe is worth now to remember about your hobbies. What once brought you pleasure and made you fell alive. Or maybe you can find new interesting activities for your own wellbeing. Just take some time and brainstorm about what makes you feel good, feel happy, calm your mind and contribute to your overall state of wellbeing.
There are countless options to choose from, depending on your preferences and passions.
If you love getting lost in the pages of a good book, reading can transport you to different worlds and provide a much-needed escape. It is a quiet and calming activity that can be done anywhere, whether you have a few minutes or an hour to spare.
For those who enjoy expressing themselves creatively, painting or any other form of art can be incredibly therapeutic. Letting your imagination run wild and putting brush to canvas allows you to release stress and tap into your inner creativity.
Gardening is another wonderful hobby that can provide a serene escape. Planting seeds, tending to your plants, and watching them grow and bloom can be a soothing and fulfilling experience. It also allows you to connect with nature and enjoy some fresh air.
If you find joy in the kitchen, cooking and baking can be a great way to unwind and explore your culinary talents. Experimenting with new recipes or simply preparing comforting meals for your loved ones can be both enjoyable and relaxing.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the benefits of physical activity. Exercising not only improves your physical well-being but also releases those feel-good endorphins. Whether it’s going for a run, taking a dance class, or practicing yoga, finding an activity that gets you moving can help clear your mind and boost your mood.
Remember, finding “me” time doesn’t have to be complicated. Engaging in hobbies and activities that bring you joy and relaxation is a beautiful way to reclaim personal space and nurture your own interests .
Creating Boundaries with Others
As a mom, it can often feel like personal space and “me time” are elusive concepts. However, it is essential to create boundaries with others in order to protect our emotional well-being. Here are some strategies to help you reclaim your personal space:
1. Clearly communicate your needs: Start by openly expressing your desire for some alone time or personal space. Let your loved ones know that taking care of yourself is important for your emotional well-being ( and theirs, of course).
2. Learn to say no: It’s okay to say no when you’re feeling overwhelmed or need some time for yourself. Practice assertiveness and set firm limits on your time and energy, without feeling guilty about it.
3. Schedule time for yourself: Treat “me time” as an important appointment in your schedule. Whether it’s an hour to read, paint, or take a long bath, prioritize this time and stick to it.
4. Create physical boundaries: Set boundaries by designating specific areas as your personal space. Whether it’s a corner of a room or a private workspace, having a physical boundary can help signal to others that you need some uninterrupted time.
5. Delegate tasks: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s getting support from your spouse, family, or friends, delegating tasks can give you the time and space you need.
Journaling and Reflection
Journaling provides a safe and private space for self-expression and self-reflection. It allows you to put your thoughts and emotions onto paper, helping you process them in a healthy way. By writing down your thoughts, worries, and aspirations, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your needs.
Regular reflection through journaling can have numerous benefits. It allows you to gain clarity and perspective on your emotions, experiences, and relationships. By taking the time to reflect, you can identify patterns, triggers, and areas for personal growth. This self-awareness can empower you to make positive changes in your life and relationships.
Make journaling a part of your daily routine. Set aside a few minutes each day to write in your journal, whether it’s in the morning to set intentions for the day or in the evening to reflect on the events of the day. Experiment with different journaling techniques such as gratitude journaling, free writing, or prompt-based journaling to find what works best for you.
Exploring Your Interests and Passions
By trying new things and stepping out of our comfort zones, we can discover new passions and find fulfillment outside of our role as a mom.
One way to explore our interests is by attending workshops or classes. These provide opportunities to learn and engage in activities that align with our interests. Whether it’s a painting workshop, a cooking class, or a dance lesson, these experiences can spark a new passion or reignite an old one.
Another way to explore our interests is by joining clubs or groups that share similar hobbies or passions. This allows us to connect with like-minded individuals and learn from their experiences. Whether it’s a book club, a sports team, or a knitting group, being part of a community that shares our interests can be both fulfilling and enriching.
In today’s digital age, there are also various online resources available for exploring our interests. From blogs and podcasts to online courses and tutorials, the internet offers a wealth of information and opportunities to explore different passions.
Practicing Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness can have a profound impact on our overall well-being and stress levels. It allows us to become more present in the moment, reducing feelings of overwhelm and promoting a sense of calm. By incorporating simple mindfulness techniques into our daily routines, we can create a space for ourselves to recharge and find inner peace.
One effective strategy is to incorporate short meditation sessions throughout the day. Even just a few minutes of deep breathing and focusing on the present moment can help to reset our minds and bodies. Whether it’s during a quick break at work or before bed, these moments of stillness can make a world of difference.
Deep breathing exercises are another great way to practice mindfulness. Take a few moments to inhale deeply and exhale slowly, paying attention to the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your body. This not only helps to calm the nervous system but also brings our attention back to the present moment.
Finding moments of stillness and presence in everyday tasks can also be a powerful way to practice mindfulness. Whether it’s savoring a cup of tea, taking a leisurely walk, or simply observing the beauty of nature, these small moments of mindfulness allow us to fully engage with our surroundings and cultivate a sense of gratitude.
Practicing mindfulness isn’t just for our own benefit, but also for the well-being of our families. By taking care of ourselves and finding moments of stillness, we become better equipped to handle the challenges of motherhood with grace and resilience.
Spending Time Alone or With Friends
Spending time alone can be a rejuvenating experience. It allows us to connect with ourselves, recharge, and create space for introspection. Consider taking a peaceful walk in nature, reading a book that brings you joy, or indulging in a relaxing bath. These activities can help you reconnect with your inner self and find solace amidst the chaos.
On the other hand, spending time with friends is equally important for our overall well-being. Nurturing personal relationships is crucial for our mental health and happiness. Plan a virtual coffee date with a friend who brings you comfort and joy. Take this opportunity to catch up, share laughter, and support each other.
Engaging in hobbies and activities with friends can also be a source of joy and connection. Whether it’s knitting together, joining a book club, or having a table game , these shared experiences can deepen bonds and create lasting memories.
Saying No to Unnecessary Commitments
By saying no, you can focus on what truly matters to you. Instead of spreading yourself too thin, you’ll have the opportunity to invest your time and energy in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Saying no allows you to reduce stress and create space for self-care.
To effectively say no, be polite but firm. You don’t have to provide lengthy explanations or justifications. Simply express your decision in a respectful manner. If possible, offer alternatives or suggest someone else who might be able to help. Remember, saying no is not selfish—it’s an act of self-care that allows you to protect your time and well-being.
Prioritizing your time and saying no to unnecessary commitments can be challenging at first, but it’s a valuable skill to cultivate.
Delegate and let go
Recognize that you can’t do it all. Delegate tasks when possible and don’t fell guilty about it.
Identify tasks that others can help with, wether is your partner, a family member , or even a hired helper. This could include chores, grocery shopping or meal preparation.
When delegating, communicate your expectation clearly. Explain how you’d like tasks to be done to avoid misunderstandings or the need of micromanagement.
Trust your support system to handle tasks competently. trust is essential for effective delegation and can alleviate your stress.
Determine which tasks are most important, and which ones can be delegated. Focus on activities that truly require your attention.
Understand that things may not be done exactly your way, and that’s ok. Perfection isn’t always necessary, and learning to accept imperfection can reduce your stress. Set realistic expectationfor yourself and others. It’s ok if ypur home isn’t spotless or if dinner is occasionally takeout instead of a homemade meal.
Remember that taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity. Let go of any guilt associated with self-care activities. When you’re recharged, you can better care for your family.
Parenting Rarely follow a strict plan. Embrace flexibility and adapt to the unexpected. Letting go of rigid schedules and expectations can reduce stress.
Reflect on your values and what truly matters in your life Let go of activities or obligations that don’t align with your priorities.
